In the Dark
by UWLurkerZz
Summary: Full summary inside.. Modern Au about a rich monarch named Alexandra Udinov and her soon to be servant Nikita Mears, an ex-mercenary commander. What will happen when two broken women plays the dangerous dominance games ? Who exactly will take control and who will play the obedient slave ? Rated for future Lemons, D&S and much more..Nalex romance story
1. Damage

_**A/N - Alright, Lurker here. Most of you know me from my Phoenix story, and for those who don't - I don't own Nalex, they own me lol.. English is not my native language so there might be mistakes and stuff, i'm sorry for that. I suck at summaries so the only way for you to see if the story is worth it, is to actually read it lol..**_

_**Anyway, this is a modern AU i came up with a while ago. This is a Nalex only fic, Amanda will make a small appearance but that's really it. Every character is OOC in this fic. The story is focused on Russia. A dark, depressive fic, with lots of lemons, D&S stuff, maybe even torture, i haven't decided yet. If you expect love in this fic, you shouldn't really be here. This is all about dominance and submission. Love will MAYBE be in the last chapters. Rated for depression just for now. Believe me it will get steamy and hot in later chapters...**_

_**Basically ? **_

_**Alex is a wealthy Russian monarch, with a tainted past and broken mind. She hates love and everything around it. What she desires is passion and lust. And utter control over her lover. Mainly because of her past, she decides that the only way for her to enjoy life is to dominate those she wants. **_

_**Nikita on the other hand is an ex-mercenary commander, with a broken mind and a tainted past, too. Life forced her to chose between the man she loved and her loyalty. In her life, she desires happiness and love. But there is no love to be found in this world. As an ex-commander, she is used to give orders, however in personal life, she's the one that rather receives them.  
**_

_**What happens when two utterly different persons meet ? What will happen when Nikita will want to serve under Alex as a common slave ? How will Alex react to Nikita's love, and the need to be used ? **_

_**Find out...**_

* * *

Time runs so slowly when you have nothing to live for. No one to cuddle to at nights, no one to wake up beside at the morning. Seconds feels like hours. Hours seems like days. Days seems like years, and ultimately, even though you don't know how, time destroys your entire life. Many souls tried to fight time, many found love and spend their always moving time with them, but at the end... It always ended the same way. There was no true love to be found in this Gods forsaken world, everybody knew that. And even though, they tried. Foolishly, they tried to search. Foolishly, they tried to live happily. But the end was always the same.

Solitude...

The World was strange. It had pain, suffering, death, and a long, bloodied past. But nobody ever tried to fight it. People just blindly accepted this. However, the World had also a great sense of humor. The bad one. It thought that killing a family of a little, thirteen years old girl is fun. It thought it was fun when she saw her father shot by shotgun, so his organs was teared apart, his blood was everywhere on the wall. It was fun when she saw her mother being repeatedly raped and then stabbed to death. And ultimately, it though it was fun when the same bastard that touched her mother first, now touched her. When he took her from their burning mansion, she screamed and begged to let her go. Poor girl even tried to run. However when she saw who exactly ordered these monstrous things, she realized the one point about the World. That it doesn't have love, only betrayal. So cold was mother Russia, that the poor girl realized this at her younger age. The poor girl however had no idea what nightmares would come next. Because if she would, the poor girl would rather begged the World to let her die in the scarlet fire that devoured her family she loved so much.

As her damned time ran slowly, the girl became a woman quite fast. There was no other choice for a girl that was supposed to be used for the rest of her life. She could no longer be that thirteen years old girl, because World wanted to have more fun with her. She was sold so many times, first as a simple slave, then as a filthy whore nobody ever cared about. This monster with one big scar on his face that was covering his eye was proving that point to her every single night. He used to say how he loved her fragile body, her teary eyes. He said that secretly, the sick bastard loved her from the beginning of this game. However, business is business. She was to be used by World, not by him. One man after another, the broken girl became a woman, capable of hating everything and everyone in her life. However, there was one thing she loved. Her drug. However disgusting and foolish this men were, they always gave her something. Something to help her forget about this damn World. Other girls, women in the brothel believed in their happy endings. They believed that there was surely something better waiting for them after this hell was done. However, one of them knew the truth about the World they were living in. When one hell ends, other begins.

It would seem however that the World had enough of _fun_. At least for now. Much much later, when the woman was broken and had no mind of her own, a police raid happened in their brothel. Every girl was taken away, every bastard was beaten up and caged. The broken girl, used by men and the World was saved, at least for now. They brought all girls to the police station, asking millions of questions at once. The broken girl was surprised to see so much light in one place. In the place she lived, there was always darkness. And many times, the broken girl thanked for that. Because in the darkness, there was nothing to be seen. And to be blind in this place, when you have to do things that disgust you, was a great gift for the poor girl. This way, she would never see her broken and disgusted gaze. The police officers asked her true name, age, everything. It was so long since she told it to anyone, but she still remembered. So, when the broken girl replied, _Alexandra Udinov_, the police officers were shocked, stunned even. It would seem that the World was looking for her. She was to be crowned as the new head of Zetrov, since it would seem that nobody else could lead this gigantic company. So...

Suddenly, the broken girl was a princess. And in few more seconds, she became the Leader of something she only heard of, thanks to her father. He trained her, of course, but still. She was hoping that he will be by her side, at least for a little while. But now, the Princess became the Empress. She had everything, she could do anything. The World that had so much fun with this broken girl, now gave her everything. She did not understood. Was this a simple compensation for all those years of pain and suffering ? Or does the World wants to have more fun with her ? Alex was surprised, both pained and glad. However, there was something the new Empress did not had. A sane mind. However there was someone who wanted to help the rising Empress. A therapist, willing to go through hell to save her broken mind. Everyone knew her name, very well..

This rising Empress wanted only one thing at the moment.

Solitude..

* * *

The World however was not done at all. It created so many shattered souls that you could hardly count them, even if you would start now. So many women and men that needed comfort and protection from the cold embrace of death. From the solitude and suffering that the World offered. But at the end, there was non to be found. Many fought this harsh truth. Many tried to change it. But there was nobody who could. At the end, there was just pain in the World. None of them realized that there was actually no way to fought these rules of the World. The dark and bottomless abyss filled with pain and hatred in this World was simply far too much to handle. Many ended their life from the fear of feeling these emotions. Many simply feared only one..

Suffering...

One day, when this one girl was old enough to hold a gun, the World raised another fighter. Another girl that was willing to take orders, to blindly follow her superiors. She was the embodiment of loyalty. A girl who would kill for her master, a girl who would blindly destroy anything standing in her way, if her master would ask her to do so. Were it innocents, or children. She never cared. She just followed her orders, just like any other soldier would. However, when she was forced to kill her master that faithful night, she became someone else. Instead of receiving orders, she gave them. She was the master now, no matter if she liked it or not. That faithful night, when her master dared to touch this sacred girl, her beast took over. She slaughtered her whole _family. _She killed those who she held dear. She took lives of those, who wanted to took her innocence away. The beast inside enjoyed blood of her kin on its hands. And so, instead of a common mercenary soldier, the great Nikita Mears became something that the World created. A tool and a play thing in the hands of the cruel World. However, the Knight fought bravely against her fate. Against these rules the World gave, against this control. The Knight became something that the World should fear.

An enemy worthy of respect. And a woman desperately seeking love..

The Knight was never in control. It was just a game that the filthy World played on her. There were always others that had plans. Others that were the Masters. The Knight however was in command of her unit. A strong, fast and precise squad. A strong army of her own. She never wanted command. She rather accepted orders, than to give them. No matter how perfect leader she was, she never desired command. Her mind was of the submissive kind. The kind that would blindly follow orders of any kind. It never mattered to her. In her mind, she was just a slave. A soldier following orders from her masters. However strong and brutal this commander was, she needed guidance. And when she found this one man among the ones she had to train and lead, she felt partly broken. How strong was the commander when she needed guidance from her own men ? How pathetic this commander was, when she slept with the man she needed to train ? Yes, she slept with him. Many, many times. He offered peace and guidance she desperately needed. He gave her orders, she followed them without a question. The Knight often thought that it was love. It must have been. He was on her mind every second of their day, after all. The Knight however, was foolish to believe in this. When her squad turned up death because of her one weakness, she cursed the whole world. A betrayal. A foolish, stupid and pathetic betrayal. The man she thought that loved her, betrayed both her and his fellow soldiers. And then, the true masters appeared. Offering her once chance of redemption. Either kill the scum, or die with him. The Knight, for the first time in her life, hated her submissive mind.

After her hands were covered in his blood, she ran. She ran from the military, away from guns and death. She ran, never looking back. Mother Russia was a cold land to live in. She realized that rather late. Her house burned down because of her own betrayal, with no money, no friends or family, she had nowhere to go. She tried many different methods to forget. From drugs like ketamine, to tools like razors. She tried, many many times. But it was pointless. Thousands of deaths because of her weakness, because of her submissive mind. Because of that bastard who used her. She tried. There was always someone who talked her out of it. Someone who told her that the World had better plans for her. But what could a broken warrior do ? She was alone. A dog without a master to lead her. A tool no one wanted to use. So, one last time, she tried something she knew very well. She used a gun.

However, there was someone who pulled the gun out from her cold hands. A therapist who wanted to make a difference in the World. Someone with a name that everybody knew..

At the end of her pointless road, there was only one thing waiting for her..

Suffering..

* * *

_**A/N - A little introduction of both Lex and Nikki. Everyone is OOC so, yeah.. Its short, i know. Still thinking things through. If you liked, leave a review so i know if i should continue writing this. If not, well... There's always Phoenix :D **_

**_Anyway, thanks for reading. Means very much to me :)_**


	2. Help

_**A/N - Thank you all for your awesome reviews :)**_

* * *

Alexandra despised this World. The World was a strange place. A place full of monsters and those who where too weak to fight. Full of whores, junkies, beggars..Full of sicknesses and fears. Full of fake religions and blind followers. Yet, no matter how much bad has happened in this world, wars, genocides, murders, humans actually protected this peace of rock that everyone called Earth. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. Just silently beg and pray for the pain to be the weak enough for you to endure it. Monsters. Alexandra saw them. Felt them inside her, countless times. She pleased them. She submitted. Like a kitten without its owner. A dog without a leach. She cursed her weak mind. Her hands trembled in fear whenever she saw them again..and again. Darkness was a preferable companion in her broken life.

The World was Pathetic.. A place where blood was shed in senseless wars for power. For Dominance. To Dominate the weak..

Dominance. That was the word she used. The new Rising Empress. She wanted Dominance. Total control over her subject. Pain and cries of fear. She wanted them to feel what she did. What she had to endure. All those beatings. Insults. Blood and pain.. She wanted her lovers to suffer with her.

But it felt so wrong. She knew her broken mind will never allow her to love anyone. Not like others expected her to. In this Empress, there was no love to be found. Her heart was already shattered thousands of times. Then repaired, so the process can start anew. A tool. She was nothing more.. A tool that, sometimes, needed to be repaired.

But now, when she could act on her own, when she could change her life, to live it in her own way, the Empress did not knew what to do. What could a broken girl do in a world like this ? What could a heiress do, when her private _army _waited her, willing to listen to her orders ? How can a broken girl lead one of the most dangerous and infamous company ? The Empress often wondered just what her Papa did to help Zetrov with its rise. She often wondered how many had to die, so others could lead ? Was this company just another brothel with men doing their dirty tricks and plotting their pointless plots ? Just another form of Dominance..

The Rising Empress felt sick. Of everything. From men, to sex. Things that should please her, disgusted her. Where other searched for love, she needed serenity. A place she would call her own. And no matter how much money she had, she never knew what to do. So, when this one therapist found her in the streets with a syringe full of venom in her hands, she simply smiled.

The Therapist offered her helping hand, offering safety. A sanctuary for Alex's broken mind, for her shattered soul.

That day, the Rising Empress was resurrected. The World would welcome a new warrior.

Alexandra Udinov.

* * *

Death. Death was good. It hurt for a while, but what waited on the other side was worth it. Serenity for those who has the right to gaze on the sun. Eternity for those who gaze upon the moon, silently whispering their prayers.

Death. Death wasn't that bad. It was an escape rope from this hell. From life. From pain. From these snakes that she once held on her breasts. Nikita managed to understand that rather quickly. She tried many paths. Ketamine to ease the pain, razors to enhance the pain. She exchanged one path for another. It was her way to survive this harsh World. However, there was this one breaking point. One that made the ex-commander yield to this Gods forsaken World. She wanted to end it all. To join her soldiers in arms in the gates of hell. She desperately wanted to be free.

So she did the one thing she knew. She killed.

She got a weapon. She aimed to an empty building, ketamine in her blood. Nikita had enough of fighting. So she gave up. Gun in her hands, she smiled when she placed it into her mouth, pulling the safety. Her finger twitched on the trigger. She closed her eyes, embracing the darkness.

She was about to be free.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her own. A warm touch that radiated safety and comfort. When the ex-commander opened her eyes, a red haired woman welcomed her. A warm smile on her scarred face. She took the gun from Nikita's broken and tired hands, placing it inside the pocket of her jacket. Her hands caressed Nikita's cheek, providing comfort and a strange feeling of safety that Nikita never felt before. Not even with her so called family. The Red haired woman took Nikita into her arms, and they slowly walked from this broken hell. Together, as a Mother would hold her broken Child.

Nikita felt strange.

An hour later, the Red haired woman and the broken woman in her arms reached their destination. An old building, full of apartments that were partly destroyed, but still. It was better than nothing. They both entered the apartment. The Red haired woman quickly placed their jackets on the nearby rack, then she both led them to the living room, helping Nikita to lie down on the couch. The poor woman was shaking with fear and from the harsh cold that enveloped the whole destroyed city. Her stomach clenched in hunger, her eyes red and broken from all those sleepless nights. The Red haired woman quickly brought the warmest blanket she could find, but first she took the damaged clothes from Nikita's body. It was a challenge, she had to admit. At first, Nikita fought bravely her warm touch on her skin. She yelled and kicked, but at the end, she complied. As if, deep inside, feeling the Red haired woman would never hurt her.

The Red haired woman realized how bad this situation was. Ketamine was dangerous, even more when the user overdose himself. She had to act quickly to safe this broken woman. She had to..

For the first time in years, Nikita felt safe. Maybe she would die, maybe she wont. She didn't cared at all. Because at the end, there was someone who cared..

* * *

The Therapist lead them both to an old, partially destroyed building. Alex was not surprised. This whole city was a one giant ruble. But she didn't had the strength to leave, to move on. Torzhok city was marked by wars, were it the old ones, or these new ones. But Alexandra never cared for that. She never cared where she was. Or with whom. She despised people, feared them, after all. However, this Therapist was different. There was this strange aura on her. Her flaming hair, her emerald eyes, her scarred face, experienced hands. Alexandra knew this woman was through some serious shit in her life. She could see it in her eyes.

As they both entered the partly destroyed building, Alexandra could see all those poor souls that needed help. Were it women, men or even children. Drug addicts, alcoholics, rape victims. Every soul that needed help. Her eyes watered at the sight in front of her eyes. A girl holding her teddy bear, part of her face destroyed by a Molotov cocktail. Her small body missing a leg, she was barely standing. And yet, she was smiling. Playing with her teddy, which was also missing few parts of his once nice and comfortable body. The poor girl seemed happy, no matter the cost she had to pay. Alexandra then realized something.

Maybe there was a chance for her too. Just like this broken girl, maybe she too could live anew.

Something other hit her broken mind too. Maybe she could help them, once she'll feel like a human again.

As they both entered the poorly equipped room, the Therapist threw her things, meaning her handbag and her jacket, on the nearby couch. As she sited on one of the chairs, her hands pointed to the other one standing in front of the partly damaged table, silently telling the young Russian girl to sit down. Alexandra complied without a second thought, placing her own jacket on the couch too.

Sitting in this room was strange. In front of her was a woman she didn't knew. A woman who wanted to help her, and asked nothing in return. Humans always wanted something. The rising Empress knew that. However, this flame haired woman wanted nothing but to help her. This World was indeed strange. Maybe she secretly knew who she was ? Maybe she will want something in return once this was done ? It didn't mattered. For once, Alexandra had someone to talk to. Truly. Without bounds or lies..

They talked. And talked. And talked. For hours. It felt like that. It finally felt good. Alexandra gave up her control and she let out everything. From the drug addiction, to the countless rape situations. The Therapist simply nodded at everything. Listening to these problems. Silently trying to solve them. For once, for Alexandra, there was a slight chance for a new life. The Therapist later said the whole truth to her. She knew who she was the moment she saw her. The great Alexandra Udinov, the Heiress to the infamous Zetrov. But it didn't mattered to her. This was never about money. She said that at the beginning. This was simply a desperate attempt to help a broken and used girl that was kicked so many times. By life. By this World. By men.

Alexandra was standing near the big window, her hands touching the cold glass, her fingers slightly touching the little cracks in it. As the Rising Empress stared outside the window, down at the destroyed streets of Torzhok, the Therapist came to her, placing her hand on her shoulder. "We can make it" the Therapist whispered, having a warm smile on her scarred face.

Alexandra understood. There was a chance..

* * *

When Nikita woke up, lying on a comfortable couch, instead of the hard and cold floor, she was surprised. She remembered little from yesterday's events. She remembered a gun. A gun she held tightly in her hands. She remembered the ketamine. She remember taking it, much more than usual. She should have been dead. She planed it all. If the gun wouldn't do the trick, the overdose should had. This was wrong. She was supposed to be dead...

Suddenly Nikita heard something she hadn't heard in ages. Keys. Someone was opening the doors. Panic attacked her still weak and tired mind. Where was she ? Who was the person unlocking the door ? What did she do the last night ? She just couldn't remember a damn thing. There was only thing to do. She didn't wanted to hurt an innocent, so she quickly took the gun, aiming it at the door. Waiting for whomever will enter.

A Red haired woman entered the apartment, wearing a broken and tired look. Her session with the new Rising Empress was indeed tiresome. After the whole session, they arranged her new room in the building they were in. The Hospital, as everyone simply called it. The room was poor and partly destroyed, but it was better than nothing. The Empress had nowhere to go, anyway. The Red haired woman was very eager to come back home. To take care of her new guest. To see if she's alright. Alive and kicking. Her overdose was quite serious, but the Red haired woman managed to save the poor and broken woman.

However, when the Red haired woman saw the poor woman she saved few hours ago, holding a gun that was aimed at her head, the Red haired woman felt skeptical. She knew that there was only one way to safe both of them from this horrific situation.

Nikita didn't felt like hurting this woman. There was something in her gaze that made her wonder. Who was this woman ? First question. What did those scars means ? Second question. There were a lot more questions on her broken mind, but these were the most frequently asked ones. "I don't want to hurt you please.. Just let me leave.." Nikita said, aiming the gun at the Red haired woman. She simply nodded, smiling.

The Red haired woman slowly tried to come closer to Nikita. To calm her. To take the awful weapon from her hands, and to comfort her. "Its alright Nikita. I'm here to help you.." she said, but Nikita was far too cautious and scared to let that happen. She tensed, slowly walking back. How did this woman knew her name ?

"How do you.." Nikita asked, since she didn't heard her own name for so damn long. She was alone since her run away. Nobody knew her name. But this woman did. The Red haired woman simply nodded, smiling. She slowly walked towards Nikita, holding her hands in the air. Nikita had nowhere to go. There was nowhere to retreat. Behind her was just a solid wall. In front of her, a woman who tried to help her.

The Red haired woman was few inches away from Nikita, her hands slowly going down. "Know your name ? Its a start. I just want to help you, but for that to happen, i need you to lower that gun Nikita.." she said, her head pointing at the gun in Nikita's hands. She slowly and very gently touched her hands, her eyes asking for permission. "Please. I mean you no harm.." the Red haired woman tried again, hoping that this time, Nikita will surrender.

And she did. Nikita dropped the gun, her hands instantly covering her head. A vice she had since the war. Whenever she dropped her gun, her masters would simply hit her, punishing her for this _monstrous _action. The Red haired woman understood, placing the gun on the nearby table. Nikita had her eyes closed, waiting for the punishment. It always came. However, this time, something other came._  
_

A hug. A warm embrace from the Red haired woman. She hugged her, holding her tightly. As if protecting her from the outer world. As if protecting her from everything bad that could happen.

Nikita felt so amazing. She did not knew this woman. And yet her touch provided so much comfort. It felt amazing. She closed her eyes, allowing the warmth to calm her beaten and broken soul. And just as she opened her eyes again, the Red haired woman whispered something else.

"Just call me Amanda.."

* * *

_**A/N - Alright, i hope you enjoyed. Its pretty calm and everything at the moment but believe me. Later chapters will have lots of S&D stuff...**_

_**Thanks for reading. Leave a review if you liked, it really helps me to decide where or how to update this story :)**_


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